You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
