We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
