I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
