i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
