i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
