I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
