I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
