New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
