GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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