i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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