Grow some girl-balls and come out already
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
A+ Viking dick
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
