don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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