We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
