Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She's the barista slut.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
