I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
