I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
