Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
