If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
