how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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