walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
