are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
