We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
