did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
