no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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