I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
