Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize