Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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