ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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