You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
