One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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