She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
