Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
