She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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