i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
