i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
