Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
