This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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