I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize