Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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