Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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