I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
