Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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