he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize