Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
