Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
