I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize