what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
