i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
