I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
