This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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