I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize