New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
