so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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