he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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