Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
