If that was your dad, he is hot
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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