I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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