Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
