Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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