hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
thus making me awesome and them whores
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I am naked and annoyed.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
