I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
