So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
