Do you still have your period?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
